Down in Texas, somebody’s street pharmacist is missing some “work”.
Meanwhile… back home at the ranch, an upstanding unassuming woman was minding her own business, enjoying a tasty granola bar and….out pops a bag of dope.
What’s even more peculiar here is that she actually called the company that makes the bars thinking she won some sort of a prize!
Being as though she didn’t automatically know that the white powdery substance (inside the money-sign bag) was coco, I’m guessing she is, and always has been, completely 100% drug free. Just an observation.
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A bag of cocaine in one of this type of baggies was found in a Nature Valley granola bar.
Via Associated Press
Cynthia Rodriguez of San Antonio says she was eating the bar when a small, green bag emblazoned with dollar signs fell out. Rodriguez contacted manufacturer General Mills Inc., thinking she had won a prize. Company officials told her to call the police.
Rodriguez contacted police March 18 and investigators determined the bag contained cocaine.
Sgt. Javier Salazar says authorities are trying to determine how the package got inside the granola bar wrapper.
A General Mills spokesman said Thursday that the Minneapolis-based company is confident the cocaine wasn’t packaged with the bar at a company facility.
A Florida prisoner has petitioned the courts in an effort to have rapper Kanye West and his attention slore of a wife, Kim Kardashian BANNED from his state. In a heart to heart letter pinned to the judge, the prisoner details his disgust for the pretentious power couple, even referring to them as a “wannabe Jay Z and Beyoncé”.
No word on if his requests were granted.
Peep the hilarious story below.
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Kim Kardashian and Kanye West must be stopped at the Florida border, because they’re nothing but wannabe Jay Z’s and Beyonce’s … according to a prisoner who has taken his cause to court.
Wayne Albright — who’s been locked up since 2000 for attempted sexual assault — claims Florida needs protection from the couple he calls “Meat Whistles” and “Moose Knuckles.”
Albright shows abject contempt for the famous duo, declaring the only tolerable Kardashian is Rob, who’s “eating himself out of house and home, no doubt from the shame he feels as a result of what Kim has done to the Kardashian name.”
The prisoner is specifically targeting Kim and Kanye from stepping foot in Florida, and he wants to “ban these two Moose Knuckles from appearing on any television programs aired in the state of Florida, unless it’s Court TV and they’re on trial for posing as a famous couple.”
Albright seeks a temporary restraining order, telling the judge, “You have your work cut out for you … so what do you say? Make us all proud.”
“I killed them because they were assholes who snitched on me, when I didn’t do anything to them, and only helped everybody,” Gomez saidin an audio file releasedin November.
“But I know I’ll eventually pay for it.”
Three months later, the leader of the Knights Templar cartel fell.
A former primary school teacher, Gomez, known widely as “La Tuta,” was apprehended in Morelia, Michoacan state. It was the Mexican government’s most significant arrest since the capture of notorious Sinaloa cartel leader Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman, which occurred almost exactly a year before.
The arrest came at around 3 am at a hot dog stand in downtown Morelia, after what the Mexican president referred to as “months of investigation.” The detention, authorities said, unfolded without incident.
In a video released to Mexican news outlets taken in the hours after Gomez’s arrest, the drug lord appears at ease but recalcitrant, saying he was arrested “because I’m a criminal.”
“Because I led a gang of pendejos,” or idiots, he said.
Cave where Mexican drug capo Servando Gomez Martinez lived while in hiding.
Birthday cake mistake
The Gomez capture was marked by a series of events reminiscent of the days Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein spent in hiding before he was captured.
Gomez, increasingly isolated by the pursuing authorities and pressured by his cartel and autodefensarivals, evaded police for months by hiding out in a bat-filled cave, Mexico’s federal police commissioner told the news agency EFE in an interview.
The cave had previously served as a holding cell for detainees. Gomez, 49, spent his final free months in “misery,” commissioner Enrique Galindo told EFE.
By early February, authorities had narrowed the search down to one of ten properties. A messenger whose phone was tapped finally led authorities to his location.
On February 6, a girlfriend of Gomez named Maria Antonieta Luna Ávalos visited him along with others who brought food and drinks, including a chocolate birthday cake, which was found in the refrigerator at his home at time of his arrest.
Hours after Gomez’s capture, his brother Flavio Gomez Martinez was detained in the city of Merida on the Yucatan peninsula, in possession of firearms and narcotics, authorities said. Six other people linked to Gomez have also detained.
“We now have 90 of the 122 most dangerous [people] detained,” Mexican interior minister Osorio Chong said.
The Pen Hustle With Brandy Cavalli 
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